The difference between a hockey MOM and a pitbull?

All different tones and colours in lipstick; just as there are with hockey MOMS.

I am the "president" of the local hockey mom organization. Three years ago I was having a conversation with the very angry want-to-leave-president unable to locate a replacement. I did what I do: raised my hand.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Why?

The reason for the quotation marks above is simply because I was never actually the "president". I was listed as such on the website and when I was being yelled at by the MOHA office - it was so much fun being called "disgusting" by office staff - but the reality is that I was the person who raised her hand. The Person Who Raised Her Hand is clearly too long a title. The reality was that those who supposedly left continued to run things behind the scenes with the help of those who remained.

Between being undermined, lied to, stolen from (the organization, not me personally) it has been a roller coaster few years. For the first couple of years it was overwhelming. Truly exhausting. That people measure their importance by their level of manipulation, breaking of rules (clearly designed for everyone else) and through the activities of their children has always baffled me.

I decided to do what I do best and go for the big picture. I knew I had to consolidate activities and resources and prepare for the future of an organization quickly going broke. The MOMS group is populated by many over-extended volunteers who needed to be informed and included, so meetings and face-to-face opportunities had to be re-introduced. Not only that, but our MOMS group is associated with an organization who held us in contempt and viewed us as competition in some way. It takes a lot of people to manage minor hockey. Everyone should be welcomed and respected. This was not the case.

Our volunteers are fantastic. There are a small handful, as there is in any organization, of energetic, positive, hard-working women who volunteer for the right reasons for whom I am tremendously thankful. They are blissfully ignorant of all manipulations and come and do the work as it has to be done.

We were no longer able to fund the $15,000+ Awards Week. The original reason for the creation of the MOMS. We had no income. No means. Fortunately, the former executive at MOHA realized that this could no longer happen and our annual championship week was handed over to their capable machine.

To be clear, we were no longer able to fund anything the MOMS usually managed to cover the bill for: sponsorship of house league teams (boy did that ever make some people angry); banners for the REP champions (it didn't stop the bill from coming or being paid - wonder who authorized that?); and many other various big and little events and costs incurred over the years.

Why were we going broke? Our means for income was greatly affected when the Bingo money was taken away; no one wanted to volunteer to run our annual Dinner Dance (otherwise known as spend-the-evening-
yapping-to-the-REP-coaches-how-fantastic-little-Johnny-
is-and-how-it-would-be-stupid-not-to-have-him-on-the-
team-next-year) because no one wanted to attend the annual event; no one wanted to buy MOHA-logo trinkets in rinks because they were over priced; we were forced to keep going back to the same well (rinks) as a means of income rather than to the larger population as we are not a part of MOHA and therefore not insured properly and the cost (remember, we're broke) was incredible; traditional bake sales are out because the health department now has to inspect every kitchen - I could have a bake sale in my home but not in a public, town owned/run facility. Road blocks. Every turn.

Personally, I am exhausted. The mean-spirited, unkind behaviour of self-important liars and martyrs has worn me down. My spirit is completely depleted. I keep trying to re-energise and re-start, but I do so with the looming fear that someone, somewhere is waiting to tear down my efforts. Though I do continue to plug along. I have let the website lapse as no one was willing to do it and I was no longer willing to personally fund it and pay the person who understood how to make it work. I've started a blog - it's free - in order to pass along information. If you have something to add, or need a question answered you can send me an e-mail or check out the MOMS blog. CONTRIBUTORS REQUIRED!

What keeps me going? It is still important to have TEAM MOM participation. Organizing roster cards, drink lists, team parties, dry land training, out of town tournaments, kleenex on the bench and one person on the team who just thinks those players are great - even if they blew the pass or missed an assignment. For years we heard complaints from the MOHA office that giving us e-mails for coaches and players was "too much work" for those paid in the office to actually do work as opposed to those of us who volunteer our time. I wonder if we would be as difficult to manage if we were paid?

This weekend is our annual Skate & Equipment Sale. One of the few activities the MOMS are able to afford. We, Louis and I, host the sale at Frozen Ropes. Why do we host it, other than it being the right thing to do? It is self-serving as it brings people into our baseball facility who may not have ever come inside before AND unlike the town, we do not charge the organization a fee. It's a community service.

I'm still doing my best to dwell in the positive, but every once in a while it becomes more than a little overwhelming. The one season my son is over-the-moon-happy about is the season I've come to dread the most.

Anyone looking to be the new President of the MOMS? No quotations. I'll give you the whole thing, with a big bow!