Southern Hospitality

There has been some talk about my comprehension of Southern Hospitality.

This stemmed from a thread about a woman online who was having some personal boundary issues with another woman whom she had known for years, part of her inner circle of friends, someone entrusted with the care of her children and someone perceived to be her close confidant. As a result of crossing those personal boundaries and violating trust, woman #1 is no longer in contact with woman #2. Long story, but from the information provided, I believe it was the only decision that could be made in the situation. Sad? Yes. Necessary? Most definitely.

In one of the many threads on the topic the woman mentioned that at a four-way-stop, she waved to the woman who was not to be trusted. Her six year old wondered why she would wave to her if they were not friends any more (not those words, but you get the idea). The woman said it was the polite thing to do.

Polite? Really? I would think it was sending a mixed message at best and an invitation to further contact at worst.

I’m not saying that you have to be rude. I’m saying you shouldn’t be a hypocrite. The daughter was confused … and so was I!

One of the many Southern belle’s who frequent ScrapShare (Biscuit Scraps) started a thread a few weeks back in an effort to assist me in understanding how the whole Southern hospitality and manners works. I still wasn’t getting it.

While at the Spring Fling, one day at dinner, some of the lovely Texas ladies sought me out to let me know about Southern hospitality. Bottom line: you’ve gotta grow up Southern to get it and even though they’ve grown up Southern and get it they hate it.

My question to them: If your sitting at a table and having a conversation with a few Southern ladies, how do you know if they genuinely like you or if they’re just being polite? How do you know that they won’t start whispering to each other about your outfit, hairdo, food in your teeth or whatever? In my world, we aren’t rude, but if my friend were sitting across from me I would say “there are more flattering colours on you” or “you have had better cuts, what do you think?” or “you might want to get that spinach out of your teeth”. Jeez, who doesn’t do that? Essentially, you don’t. You take your chances.

The one thing I did learn though. If a Southern woman says “Bless YOUR heart” she means it in a nice way. If a Southern woman says “Bless HER heart” she’s generally being a bitch.

Gotcha ladies. Thanks for the tutorial!