A list for my younger self

As I turn 45, I think back to the girl and woman I once was and am amazed at how some things change and some stay the same. There was a middle period there, a destructive and hateful time, where no one who knows me now would recognize me; but, those who knew me as a child would recognize me now.

What would you tell your younger self if you had a chance?

Here is my list to my younger self:

1. Quit smoking, it’ll only get harder the longer you keep the habit.
2. Study Art History, you’ll enjoy it more than English. And maybe you will set a course toward art right away rather than waiting 20+ years. You can always read.
   
3. There will be no reward for working 70-80 hours a week. The minute you get pregnant you will be expendable. Work less, enjoy more.
4. Algebra is useless, but life is a word problem.
5. Credit cards are evil.
6. Psoriasis sucks. Don't step into the burn booth. You'll regret it.
7. Frozen shoulder sucks more. One word: trigenics.
8. Talk is cheap: actions are the real deal.
9. Dream. Have dreams. Surviving is not a dream.
10. If he doesn't stay until morning, he's probably married or something else that is not yours to deal with or fix.
11. On that note, no man can fix you; first you have to fix yourself. Oh, and by the way, there’s not much wrong with you, you just believe the wrong people.
12. There is no such thing as fate or destiny. Life really is what you make it.
13. Tragedy happens. Mistakes happen. Accidents happen. Yes, everything happens for a reason, but life can be as cruel and wrenching as it is lovely and inspiring. Embrace it and roll with it.
14. Black and white is a pretty good way to see right from wrong. Remember that the world is in colour.
15. People will come and go, but your friends will be friends forever.
16. Diplomacy is overrated. It is a pretty mask for some really despicable behaviour.
    
17. If your boss (who works for your dad) demands sexual favours, it’s not your fault, you didn’t ask for it, tell your dad and get the jerk fired. It’ll save you a year of working in the warehouse. Ick.
18. People will believe what they want to believe. If something is attributed to you - and you didn't say it - know that if it fits the agenda of the teller or listener there is no way to correct it. Don't bother trying.
19. Only lend books if you don't want them back.
20. Learn to say “no” and don’t be made to feel guilty by the timetable of someone else.
21. Take every minute of your vacation time.
22. And, travel more.
23. Pick the sailboat, not the dog. Then, sell the boat.
24. You are a writer, write.
25. Kindness is a natural resource: infinitely renewable. Don’t be afraid to show you are kind.
26. Trust your instincts. Acknowledge your fear. Acknowledge your joy.
27. You are not responsible for the bad behaviour of other people.
28. Your children will be the greatest joy and challenge of your life. You will be overwhelmed and terrified of the love you feel for those little beings (even when they become bigger beings).
29. You are not meant to be a size 22, make better food and activity choices.
30. Invest in Microsoft, Google and Amazon the minute you hear the names! Harley Davidson is a good choice, too.

When you turn 45, you shall be rocking like never before, comfortable in your own skin, grateful for absolutely everything.

Looking for some assistance ...

Some of you read both of my blogs, some even read all three, but I thought in this case I'd post on both theLINARstudio and here to ask for your help with an upcoming Cathy Zielske class I'm enrolled in next month.

I've typed it all out: here.

Feel free to leave a word here, there or e-mail me at l2l dot leemonade at gmail dot com

Thanks in advance :)

/2

Tears in my eyes

and streaming down my face.

Image from allposters.com

On Friday, I went over for a quick visit with my friend Lee-Ann at her blog. On it was a link to Who Does She Think She Is? and listened to the film clip. Then I spent an hour reading everything available on the site, clicking on every link!

Years ago, as a teenager, I defined myself as an artist. I would hole up in my room and draw for hours. If I wasn't drawing, I was writing. I would escape the house and go to the park with a sketchbook or journal. I stopped writing the day my mother brought out my journal and picked a page and proceeded to read it, at the dinner table, with guests present. It was mortifying. That was 30 years ago. I have only just started writing again.

The most freedom I ever felt as an artist was during my stay at boarding school. I drew all the time. There was a lot of time to fill and I spent most of it in the basement classroom/studio playing with paints and charcoal. It was so liberating.

That all got packed away when I left for university then on to my first job. Then my next job, and the next, then my determination to prove myself got in the way of any free time. I worked crazy hours and escaped my personal daemons by partying just as hard as I worked. The charcoal, paper, paints, coloured pencils, brushes and sponges became a memory. Quickly forgotten in the time warp of career, travel, alcohol, relationships and general chaos.

Then I became a mum, having four kids in five years makes you realize that you actually did have free time when you thought you couldn't be any busier. Even though I hadn't created in years before their arrival I felt it leave: my imagination, my passion, my interest, it completely disappeared. The creative juices refused to flow. I was deserted. It was the saddest time for me.

Slowly, through photography and scrapbooking, and now writing and a remarkable number of on-line courses, I have re-built my curiosity, my drive, my creativity. The passion has returned! And with it has come guilt: the fear of being selfish. The fear that now is "my time" and I'll have to put it off, again.

So, go watch the clip. At this point you will understand the tears.

What was your favourite book?

Growing up, "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak was my favourite book. Not a big book, but I could get lost in it for hours. (This favourite was closely followed by "Harold and the Purple Crayon" by Crockett Johnson and "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" by Eric Carle.) I'm happy to say that it is a favourite in our house with my own children.

Caden was all excited when he ran up to me and managed to sputter out that there's an upcoming Where the Wild Things Are movie. I don't know if I want to go and change my memories of the book, but who knows, it may just enhance the experience. And plus, my boy wants to go and who am I to ruin his fun? The scheduled release date is October 16th, so I may be over my aprehension by then.

Enjoy:

I flaked

As most of you get, if nothing, else I am two things:

1. busy
2. control freak

which is not always a good combination. Add those two character traits with my inability to say "no" and what Louis calls, my status of "serial volunteer", I tend to get myself a bit overwhelmed. I always grind through it. I do not complain. I am far more about just getting it done and say no next time! You guessed it, I don't say no.

Yesterday morning, I sat down and made a few lists. Yes, I'm a list person. It started as a free-flowing list of all the things I'm committed to and those things I'd like to do. I believe that you have to do those things you commit to before you do those things you like to do. You can only reap reward once the work is done, right?

As a result, I have a pretty focused inventory of what has to get done: short term, long term; work, fun; kids, house. Donna, this is a good thing! I recognized exactly what has to go: four things. No, not my kids, though that would dramatically reduce my commitment list!

Of those four things, I am most sad that I am flaking on the elementary school yearbook. I was so looking forward to this project. My parent partner, Craig, is a real go-getter and I know the yearbook is in very capable hands, but I feel terrible letting him and the school down.

Lately, I have stretched myself so thin that I feel I am not giving enough to anything, so I am not feeling anything but stress and lack of achievement. I feel like I'm paralyzed in place and providing mediocre effort on everything. I do not like mediocracy! I, long ago, let go of the idea of perfect; but, I have never let go of the idea of excellence.

I'm tired of feeling that way, so some stuff had to go.

I flaked.

I feel like crap right now, but I think I'll feel better as time goes on.

Onward.

Ten things starting with "R"

Jack over at Slightly Off-Centre posted a writing-prompt, which she found over at Yesterday, Today and Forever. A couple of days ago, I asked to play along and I received my letter:

R

The rules of the game are simple. Once assigned a letter you are to post 10 things that you love which begin with that letter. It took me a couple of days to get my act together, but I did manage - see below - to find ten things that start with the letter "R". (If you want to play, leave me a message saying you want to play in my comment area or send an e-mail to leecurrie at cogeco dot ca. I’ll assign a random letter and on and on it goes).

In no particular order:

Research is something I really enjoy doing. I like collecting all kinds of information, reading and analyzing it, then mashing it all together to come up with something either confirming or denying what I (think I) know to be true. I enjoy challenging myself to learn more and to learn about the things I like inside-out and upside-down.

Rainstorms make me feel most alive. I have no idea why, but I’m the type that during a huge rainstorm resplendent with thunder and lightening and driving rain, I will throw open all of the doors and windows and have my house filled with the strength, noise and fury of it all.

Reading is the greatest gift I ever received and the greatest gift I can bestow upon my children. I am constantly harping on them to pick up a book – turn off the TV and the Wii – pick up a book and get lost in another time and place. Oh, the places you can see and things you can do in the pages of a good book.

Radio is my preferred way of “watching” a baseball game. Nothing beats an enthusiastic announcer using his words to describe the game. A quiet room and baseball on the radio: nothing beats it. Even better? Make it a farm team game in some tiny town where their heroes are those young men trying to make it to the “show”.

Recording by way of photographs and scrapbooks, my life, and that of my family, friends and relations, is my favourite thing to do. Sometimes (like recently) I have become quite obsessive about learning as much as I can about the process, about design and about writing. Now I’m moving into the direction of producing.

Raphael was the very first artist/painter/master, I ever discovered who captured my attention. I so enjoyed art history taught in that chaotic basement art room of my youth. A room covered in drops of paint and reeking creativity. My taste has since changed and runs more modern, like Riopelle and Jackson Pollock, but Raphael was my first master and opened my world to embrace art and the works of genius and symbolism. He’s also one of the reasons I want to go to Rome: to see his work in the Vatican.

Retreat is something I do on occasion to recharge and remind myself of the things in my life that are important to me. I retreat: sometimes figuratively by backing down and re-evaluating; or, physically by going to my favourite place – to recharge, reflect and take time to seek a new and or different perspective.

Red is my favourite colour. I have it throughout my house and wardrobe. It is energetic and affirming. It is a very positive colour. It makes me feel good.

Road as in ROADTRIP is the best way to get around. You can stop where you want, take in the sights, enjoy the local food, meet some captivating people and take some interesting photos. Time is different when you’re on the road: you can only get where you’re going in the time the road allows so you may as well relax and enjoy it.

Restaurant is the best way of serving a meal to my family. Lately they are, collectively, driving me crazy with their many and varied demands for meals. So when mid-week arrives, I’m more than happy to pack up the crew and head over to the Mixed Grill where everyone is happy to eat exactly what they want. Thursday is restaurant day: the best day of the week!

A Seven Word Bio

Can you describe yourself in Seven Words? I found this link on Stacy Julian's blog this morning.

planner
thoughtful
observant
driven
upbeat
learning
onward

What are your seven words?

Safe Place

Found the image on google - but it's identical to the one I'm using - hopefully with much success by the end of the weekend!

So, the key to being organized is not the pretty boxes and containers in which to store your stuff ... the key is KNOWING WHERE YOU PUT STUFF.

Argh.

Far too long ago, my sister Beth gave me photos to scan and put in a digital frame for dad's birthday. I received photos from my other sisters as well. I found and was able to return all of the photos - except those belonging to Beth. I am so upset and terribly embarrassed.

Where in the world would I have put them? I know they're in a 'safe' place, but I don't know where that place is among my pretty boxes, baskets, binders, folders and containers.

I am armed with my handy-dandy label maker and journal. Oh, and Claire, my little helper. (I wonder what this is going to cost me?) I'm determined to find those photos and not have to go through this torment ever again. I have torn my studio apart as well as my storage area. I refuse to make a run to "Solutions" or Home Depot until I've purged both of these areas and labeled everything in sight!

So, Beth, I'm sorry. I cannot believe I haven't found them yet. I will call you the minute they are located.

Taking my own advice

Over the dune to Cape Cod Bay, July 2008

Often I tell people, when they are under stress, to breathe.

The last week or so, there has been some stress. I do not stress often as I am more of a "fixer". Lately there has been something I cannot control and many won't let me ignore. I'm looking for a little calm. A little reprieve. Maybe even a little distraction.

I was going through and reading my regular blogs and found Karen's 20 things that calm me and realized I could have written at least half of her list! (It might be one of the very few times I regret that I have no sense of smell as it seems such an integral ingredient in the journey to calm.) Her timing is perfect and got me thinking about my list (I'll try to minimize any repeats):

1. Deep breathing exercises: in through the nose, out the mouth, slowly, for two or three minutes (for some reason it is way more effective with my eyes closed!)

2. A clean house: truly clean, not just tidy.

3. A drive in the country: with no destination and no deadline.

4. The sound of the ocean: especially on windy Cape Cod days.

5. A cup of green tea: made in my new Thoreau mug.

6. A long steamy shower: love the rain head.

7. Exploring local places I've never been: amazing what can be discovered.

8. Foggy and misty days: which are plentiful, thankfully, living on the lake.

9. Thunderstorms: they always feel so cleansing.

10. Planning a new project: with no distractions.

11. Flipping through design magazines: Canadian House and Home is my favourite followed by Architectural Digest.

12. Silence: drive with no radio or other distraction, what a treat.

13. Journaling: in my new Moleskine journals.

14. Watching snowflakes: the big fat ones slowly falling, while sipping a nice warm drink.

15. Book store browsing: big stores, small stores, love a good book store.

16. Lighting candles: in the living room at night with some quiet music on the stereo.

17. Sorting craft embellishments: by colour, of course.

18. Planning: especially fun stuff in my new Ali Edwards calendar.

19. Laundry: I enjoy the mindless process of folding and the accomplishment of a job well done.

20. Writing: incredibly cathartic and soothing - either by hand or on the computer.

That felt good remembering all of those things that calm me. I feel better just by acknowledging and writing them down. The best part is finding more things that calm me down than wind me up!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Ducks in a Row for 2009

I don't know if publishing my intentions for 2009 will, in fact, make me stick to them more than if they were more private, but hey, I live it, I own it, and hopefully I manage to achieve it!

The whole idea for this post?

Originally, I read Jill's blog and am thrilled for her achieving her ambitions for 2008; then I read Chookooloonks (Karen's) blog and realized, after she asked, my failings of 2008. Heather was filled with expectation for the coming year and I've spent the last week or two mulling my "word" for 2009 after being reminded about it on Monica's blog.

First, I have to say, I truly enjoy the little community that I've made for myself in 2008. What talented, thoughtful, creative and inspirational women are out there for all of us to engage and get to know better!

My Google Reader is full and I really should share the links with you on this blog. I will when I get around to it! Just one more thing on the list, eh?

At any rate, without any more pre-amble (I know, I'm all about the pre-amble!) here are my intentions for 2009 - or, as found on Karen's blog, my "Ta Da's" for 2009:

1. Purchase less and learn more: I own a ton of stuff. I have the newish PSE6 for Mac but barely know how to use it, let alone use my MacBook Pro to it's full potential. I have lenses, cameras, software and other things that I own but don't really know how to use. I have a passing knowledge, but not real knowledge. You know what I mean? It's time to start learning fully what I already have before I upgrade!

2. Walk daily: Rain, snow, sun, fog, whatever. I really enjoy walking, especially with a camera in hand, and should do it more. With four kids there is always a reason not to - always an activity that "gets in the way". I should make time for it. Hell, I should make time for more, but let's just stick with the daily walk ... for now.

3. Blurb book: I've been fascinated with this idea and think I might convert my photo site (on SmugMug) or this blog - comments included :) I originally found this idea on Laura's blog and have been inspired ever since.

4. Photography projects: I have to focus more on my skills as a photographer, as opposed to my skills as a scrapbooker. Though I am thrilled to scrapbook and blog; true joy comes to me with a perfect (in my estimation) photograph. I took thousands of photos in 2008; I narrowed them down to 50. That 50 is really 10 very good photographs, the other 40 have great stories and the photograph is representative of a very good memory. By the time you read this, I hope to have the collection up, otherwise, I'll have to let you know where to find them! At any rate, I'm seriously considering attending one of the CPR Retreats being held in 2009. We'll see. They still have to announce their locations!

5. Start and finish all projects this year: because I'm a GREAT starter; always up for the next great adventure. I do not finish well. You know what I mean, you get a great idea, you go gangbusters organizing and purchasing and planning and then zipt. Something else comes up and you're done, you never go back again. I'm pretty good with on-going projects - like raising kids; it's the short-term projects that leave me short of "closed": photography, home decor, filing, organizing, cooking, etc. Intentions ... the road to hell and all that ...

6. Send personal birthday cards: with real notes inside. I might make the card or buy a particularly perfect card from my favourite stationery store in downtown Oakville, but I want to send cards. NOT E-CARDS. I want my friends and family to know that they are loved and remembered. I may not send a present, often I can't find the perfect one, but I can find - or make - the perfect card! So, if you get a chance, send me your birth date and mailing address so I don't forget about you either!

7. Read more: I have to read more. In order to be a good writer, you have to read, right? Well, I must be a really crappy writer because I haven't read much - well, not much in book form - in a long time. I read tons on-line and in magazines but nothing too involved. I have to get back to reading for the love of reading. If you have any suggestions, they are welcome! Right now, I'm keeping my expectations low: 12 books - 1 each month. Any more is a bonus.

8. Submit layouts: I have been encouraged to submit my scrapbook layouts to publications and challenges by a few friends (thanks Donna - the instigator of my LinarStudio blog, Lorraine, Elaine, Lindy, Cyn and Char - and everyone else who has given me a push) and I think I'm ready to do it. I've dabbled a bit (read: sent in one, once) but really should make it more of a practice.

9. Keep my kids the centre of my world: many might not like or appreciate how I do it, but my kids are everything to me. My greatest contribution to this world was bringing them into it. Every day I make a conscious effort to meet their interests and their needs. All four of them have different interests and different expectations. My greatest fear is letting them down. As long as I am able, I want to provide them with instruction and encouragement to follow their dreams.

10. Find my dream: growing up, my father reflected that he always feared that my mother "beat the spirit out of me". Until I thought of it, recently, it never occurred to me that it was possible. After all, I'm upbeat, a survivor by any estimation; I'm positive, I'm kind, I do the right things, I have integrity, I speak up and own my own words, I raise my kids the right way; they have purpose. (No, that does not mean my life is perfect, it means my life is my life.) Given all of that, how could she have succeeded? Well, at 44 years of age, I can tell you that she did. My dream growing up was simply to survive. After that I never considered what would happen. Certainly nothing specific. I'm looking for a dream. Do you have one to spare? An idea? Anyway, I have all of 2009 to find a dream. Sad, eh? Wish me luck.

Onward.

What are YOUR plans for 2009?

No, it's not wine ... it's better!

(So happy for my shiny new pin!)

How exiting has it been to:

1. Find a product I've been on the hunt to find for ages (love Dr. Oz and Oprah)
2. Not just find it but have an opportunity to distribute it
3. Give the gift of good health to me and my family - and anyone else who participates, it's just a bonus

A few weeks back, my friend Donna, stumbled upon a woman carrying what looked to be wine bottles. Was it wine? No, it's was better.

It was Mona Vie.

One third of the bottle is filled with the juice and pulp of the acai berry from the Amazon rain forest, the rest of the bottle is filled with a combination of 13 more carefully selected fruits. It kind of tastes like a spicy (as in mulled, spicy) pomegranate and blueberry juice. Loaded in antioxidants, which reduces inflammation which reduces the risk of disease. This drink should, if taken properly (2oz = 1/4 cup in the morning and evening), keep everything running properly. Kind of like keeping your parts well oiled ;)

For me, I toast to my health and that of my family, every day. Twice every day!

I am not looking for miracles. I'm looking for better health. After a month of taking my daily doses have there been any changes? Anything noticeable? Probably nothing that can't be simply chalked up to coincidence: I'm sleeping better; I'm more "regular"; and, I have more energy.

Imagine my surprise when I went to the mail and received a certificate, a pin and a letter of appreciation from the founder of the company for simply letting my friends know and holding a "tasting" in my living room a couple of weeks ago.

If YOU are interested in a more health-full new year, you're welcome to check out my Mona Vie web site or send me an e-mail to leecurrie@cogeco.ca and I'm happy to answer any questions you might have.


Oh, oh, one more "coincidence"! Not a hot flash to be had in two weeks!! Yay, it's all good, and getting better.

Quick Update

I am falling behind :)

I cannot for the life of me locate my card reader, which has some fabulous photos of the last few days - with blog purpose - on it, and will have to pick up another one in the morning.

We've all had VERY early mornings and early nights this weekend due to Cole and his tournament in Toronto. GREAT games, tons to celebrate and complain about :) Bottom line is that our boys were beaten in the semi-finals. But hey, for an AE team, they did well in another A tournament.

Lots of stuff "rattling" around as blog-fodder. Not the least of which is Sherry's Choose Joy challenge.

Hope you have had an excellent weekend!

I for one am looking forward to the adventures of our week. What're you up to?

Gratitude: Day 21

I am grateful for the ability to find joy in just about every situation.

My personality is not over-the-top optimistic, nor am I a tremendous pessimist. I believe I am somewhere in the middle. Though, most days my glass is most decidedly half full, there are some days, fortunately few, when I can hear that nasty slurping at the bottom where all of my reserves have been sucked away.

I am able to look at some pretty bad personal situations and turn the lemons into lemonade:

Lemon: Louis had cancer; Lemonade: in our mid-30s we had serious conversations about our beliefs; where we are to be buried; wills were updated. Though malignant the tumor was removed completely and we've enjoyed two more children since
Lemon: Caden almost drown and he spent close to 2 weeks in a coma during SARS; Lemonade: Caden ALMOST drown
Lemon: the idiot boss who demanded favours or I would be punished and sent to work in the warehouse; Lemonade: I learned how to drive a forklift

(Yes, someday it will make one hell of a book ... all of it.)

Sometimes I feel pelted with those lemons, but in the end, it's all good. I know that even the most horrendous situation has some form of good in it. There is always a lesson. There is always joy.

I look for and find joy.

Time: it's a love-hate thing

Anyone who knows me knows I have a love hate relationship with time. I love my clocks. I live knowing exactly what time it is. I'm very much a fan of order and control, that is when time is my friend.

I have four children which is when time is my enemy.

I cannot stand anyone who is habitually late. It is so incredibly disrespectful. It is a physical manifestation of the belief that the time of X time is more valuable than the time of Y. Truly arrogant people are late. That's not a dig, it's a fact. If I'm late there are two options: I'm dead or I've been made late by someone who considers their time more important than mine.

I go crazy when I feel like I don't have enough time. It means I have not managed the time given to me, well. Grr. One thing I am able to do well is manage time so the feeling of being rushed is somewhat foreign and uncomfortable. Makes me very irritable. That is not a good thing.

Time management is something I'm trying to teach my children.

When I collected Cole from school yesterday he was in a surly mood. He had handed in an assignment - a brochure outlining how Ireland would be a good trading partner for Canada. He was given two weeks to complete the assignment. He got the rubric back and received a 3- (translation: B-). Wow, was he ever upset with himself. We had a talk and I managed to calm him down.

Then he said it. The worst sentence ever. "I didn't have time".

When my brain regained function, I took Cole through an exercise. Mama's TIME MATH:

168 are the hours in a week (24 x 7)
70 are the hours of sleep in a week (10 x 7 days)
30 are the hours of school (6 x 5 days)

You cannot change these hours, they are what they are, what's left?

68 hours
8 hours are dedicated to hockey games and/or practice throughout the week

Cole has 60 hours. SIXTY HOURS to do with whatever he choses to do. Clearly homework is not one of his priorities or it would be done, better. He was shocked when he saw the numbers. Claire was equally shocked.

They have been given an exercise for the next week. Starting now they have to document what they are doing with those 60 hours. I'm curious to see how they actually manage their time. I think they'll be surprised.

Yes, I scrapbook

I've received a couple of notes (thanks!) asking if I still scrapbook. Yes, I do. For those who missed it, I started a new scrapbook-only blog: thelinarstudio, in early October and that is where you will find all of my latest projects and finds.

Here's a peek:

The cover page for the Ali Edwards "A Week in the Life" project:

This project is completed and you'll find all of the layouts on the linarstudio blog.

The first page of the Stacy Julian "Have More Fun" project (I know I was supposed to do it in September, but alas, my plate was full):

This project has, obviously, just started and will continue throughout the month of November.

I'm also in the midst of the Cathy Zielske "Design Your Life" class and plan to start the Jessica Sprague "Stories in Hand" writing project - it starts TODAY!

You'll also find on that blog a ton of fun links to writing, photography and scrapbook resources; other blogs written by talented women; shopping and general fun stuff!

Let me know what you think!

Personal DNA

One of my favourite past-times is watching people. Human behaviour and personality is fascinating to me. It always has been. I was the girl at the party perfectly happy to sit with all of the coats and "take care of the table", content to watch all the interaction going on around me. As I recall, drunken 20-something human behaviour can be hysterical! But I digress ...

I often take these on-line personality tests for fun. Some are okay others are really odd. This one is about as close to 'on-the-money' as I've seen. And just to have the word architect in the description thrills me! It is truly how I see myself: the good, the bad, the ugly. If you want to read the whole test:

My personalDNA Report

What do you think? Is it me?

Take the test! See what it says about you. Then send me a link so I can learn more about you, too.

First, know thyself

I have always been a big believer in the theory of Birth Order. There are plenty of books on the topic, my very first exposure to it was, aptly: The Birth Order Book. My fascination may be completely based on my being an eldest - though all of the tests and internet quizzes clearly have me pegged as an only, for which there is an argument.

Lately, I've had a few conversations with friends about birth order. Maybe there's something in the air and we're all trying to figure out why our kids are the way they are; or, why we are the way we are! In my current circumstance, I'm trying to figure out my own kids as they relate to their siblings as well as their friends and find reasons for why something works and other things don't - this theory works better than most!

As the theory goes, most of us have a dominant birth order personality that matches our birth position. Our personality is influenced by variables such as gender, temperament and other family circumstances. So it is not so much where you are born in your family but how you function that counts. I believe that how a person functions generally correlates with birth position.

Your birth order personality relates both to how you work and what motivates you and also how you relate to people. For many people that means working along different birth order lines. For instance, I am in the oldest of three girls and function as a first born (the good, the bad and the ugly!) and relate as an only; and, Louis is a middle of five kids but the youngest boy. He functions as a youngest but relates to others as a middle. To some I've spoken with lately this is a "no brainer" and totally intuitive, and others think I'm crazy!

Essentially, for me, it boils down to the influence of sibling relationships and expectations of parents define who you are, or who you become, more than any other factor.

Birth order theory outlines four types of personalities: first borns, second borns, only’s and youngests. If you were 3rd of 3 or 3rd of 6 children then circumstances would have meant that you either functioned predominantly like one of these four positions.

Here are the four birth order types and some of their characteristics (this is just a quick summary totally lifted from an article by someone on the internet that I "lifted" and put in a file a while back, sorry, cannot attribute!):

First borns: the leaders, the drivers and the responsible types. These people like to manage others but first they need to manage themselves. They love to feel in control and can feel uncomfortable with surprises or feeling out of their depth. They are conservative in their outlook, which is both a strength and a weakness. Their ability to focus on a goal and their propensity to organise others means they can achieve whatever they put their minds to.

Their tendency toward perfectionism can mean they can be low risk-takers but they can be the rock around which organisations can be built. Approval of authority is important for this group so don’t expect them to rock the boat too much. First borns, above all else, want to forge ahead.

Second borns: the ‘people’ people, the compromisers, and the flexible operators. They are likely to be motivated by a cause and will enjoy working alongside people. They will often choose tasks or even a job that will give them a feeling of belonging. Friendships are important to this group so they will learn to get along and will help keep the peace in a group or organisation. They often need others to drive them but they are the glue that holds groups together. Relationships are important to this group so make sure they included in all activities. Seconds, above all else, put people first.

Only’s: the quiet achievers, the finishers, they expect nothing less than the best. This group will raise the bar for everyone around them as nothing but the best will do. Their great strength is their ability to work for long periods of time on their own so they make great project finishers and strategic thinkers but they can be secretive and don’t deal well with conflict. Recognition is important to this group. Only’s, above all else, aim to please.

Youngests: the initiators, ideas people and the challengers. This group are the creative, live-for-the moment types who can put some fun and verve into activities. While the message for first borns is to lighten up it seems that this group need to take things more seriously sometimes. Great initiators and very impatient doers, they perservere to get something started but often are not the greatest of finishers. This group will often do anything to be noticed so make sure you pay heed to their efforts. Youngests, above all else, will blow your mind.

Which birth order personality do you most closely resemble? Does it match your birth order position? Most of us resemble some characteristics in each position. But which did you nod most vigourously while reading? That will give you an indication of your dominant birth order personality.

Take a few minutes - 10 at most - and go here and put the theory to the test (got it wrong); or here (got it right); or here (got it right).

Introducing: the linar studio

I'm so excited! Not only can I finally take a screen shot, but ...

I've started a NEW BLOG. It's called "the linar studio" and it is all about scrapbooking, crafts, photography and fun. I am going to move or copy the art-related posts and links from Lemons2Lemonade and treat them as two separate entities, with minimal spillage, I hope! I'm still working out a few kinks (TypePad is different from blogger, that's for sure!), but for the most part it is fully functional with links and photos all uploaded.

I do hope you visit me over there.

In the meantime, you'll see some changes here as I clean things up a bit. It's about time for some updating and simple house cleaning, don't you think?

Have a great week :)

How are you today?

My day has been filled with Pepto Bismol and Aleve. Feels flu-ish: achy muscles, tight chest, heavy eyelids, dizzy headache, gripping pain in my ample abdomen.

Ick.

I'll be happy when this is over.

What a day!

When I invited a few friends to a mid-week lunch to celebrate my middle age, I was expecting to be sitting down with two or three ladies. Five were able to show. Three had to cancel last-minute and some were simply unavailable.

The best part of that is we can always reschedule - who knows, I can have a birthday lunch or dinner to make up for the missed one all year long!

What I wasn't expecting were these gifts:

(The photo is a bit fuzzy, sorry. I'm not sure if it's the camera or the photographer!)

Not only was the packaging and wrapping incredible:



Notice all of the wine bottles. Gotta love friends who know me :)

I also received:

My favourite gummy treat!

Aren't my friends hysterical?

And, a few weeks ago a lovely woman, my virtual friend, Martha (in Colorado) sent me this:

which I haven't been able to find here, and is the "official" gift from my kids! I'm so excited. I haven't even snuck it out of the box to test before actually opening it! Thanks Martha, you're the best!

Actually, you're ALL the best.

Thanks so much for making my day so special :)